It's over.....

I finally got the balls to just say "I'm done". T and I are through. And after all the times he has pissed me off over the last few weeks, you would think I would feel relieved, but I don't. I'm sad. I really fell for the dickhead. I believe all his sweet talk and "future" plans talk! I know I'm an idiot, but I really thought he might be the one, and I would finally get married and be done with the dating bullshit. But instead I have come to the realization that the "one" doesn't exsist. Not for me at least and I should just except the reality that it will be just me and Ant for the rest of our lives. No "dad" for him, no husband for me. Then he will go off to college and start his own life and it will just be me. I am really just so down today. It just seems "karma" is not working right. I am a good person. I do anything I can for anyone, I treat people nice, respect others, and I always get shit on! I just can not understand what I am doing wrong. Now I'm sitting here at work, crying at my damn desk like a fucking idiot!! The more I try and stop, the more it just seems to come. And I'm not a crying type of person. I have to be really hurt to cry, and since I've known T, he has made me cry TWICE. That should have been a sign. Men, don't usually make me cry. The last time I remember crying before this is during an argument with my sister.....and that's cuz I love her! I have broken my own rule of I will not cry about a man! I need to get the fuck out of this "I need love" shit I have been on lately. I need to get back to my old ways and start sleeping around again! (Kidding!!) (Well sortof) :-) I don't need love, hell I don't even need dick , I gotta toy that works just fine!!! So today I start my "I FUCKING HATE MEN" campaign (again), anyone who feels the same, feel free to join! Membership is free!

PS
Please excuse the excessive use of the work "fuck". I was a little mad today. Thanks Bye Bye!!